Yes week 8…. no I did not skip 7 weeks I am just using the correct amount of weeks that we are…..excuse me… that VAL is pregnant so I will continue the memoirs accordingly.

The last 2 -3 weeks have been interesting….Thanks to Catherine I am now addicted to Baby Center Canada. However despite the fact that I am paranoid about everything it is probably the greatest site I have ever seen for lunatic new expecting Dad’s. It really puts to rest the falsehoods about many ‘Old wives Tales’ or non truths about pregnancy. A wealth of information also to help anyone who is pregnant, (Even that chick in the states who has 17 children or so would have learned a thing or two, however the section on birth control obviously would have been beyond her comprehension). If your pregnant take a peek, it really helps and thank you Catherine =). Thanks to my addiction I am now dangling rings from strings over her belly in order to figure out what sex the baby is. Checking to see if her pillow faces north or south for the same silly reasons and buying an abundance of Milk for her to drink. Oh what Fun!!.. IM not to sure Val is enjoying my silly behavior very much but Im full of glee!!!

Val herself is experiencing some changes, and oh so evident ones!!! Although she isn’t experiencing any morning sickness which Im thankful for. Nothing is worse than watching or hearing someone puke….especially when your gag factor in this situation is little to non existant i’d be puking right beside her. (Now isn;t that love!) Of course the one thing she’s expriencing in a profound way is of course the worst possible thing that can happen! Sensitive Boobs!!! This is mild torture now….. but you see it gets worse! Soon there will be NO TOUCHY at all!! Remember that commercial with guy laying on his lawn with the water hose talking to a weed? “Want it? Can’t have it!” This is starting…..Ive cried twice! Im very upset….of all the things!! Why couldnt this wait. This is just the beginning too, because as the weeks go by it gets worse! And it doesn’t stop at birth….. Once that happens the Kid gets them all to himself!!!. Selfish brat….As soon as that child is born it’s grounded with no TV!! I am denied Boobies and all must know my pain!!

The second noticable difference is her driving. No you dont understand, her driving itself is fine…. its her Vocal’s. Now we’ve all yelled at other cars, given the finger, muttered under our breathe at other people but Val has taken this to a whole new level. During the last two weeks I have witnessed unforseen horrors.
“BITCH!!”, “TURN YOU IDIOT!!” “EVER HEAR OF A FLASHER!!!!!” “WHERE DID YOU LEARN TO DRIVE YOU HEEDLESS SIMPLETON”, “MY KITCHEN TABLE CAN DRIVE BETTER THAN YOU!” “OH YOU WANT SOME!!!! ILL STAB YOU WITH A TOOHBRUSH!!!” “AZZHOLE” “ITS CALLED A GAS PEDAL..HERE’S AN IDEA….. PUSH IT!!!” “IM PREGO DON’T MESS!!” “PICK A LANE FUKNUT!” “CRASH TEST THIS, ITS NOT MY TRUCK!!” . Now this may seem normal, but all this is during the 8 minutes we are actually driving during our lunch hour!! I can only imagine the profane slander that exits her mouth when she’s alone!!! This frightens me really because if this is just the begining of the emotional roller coaster than the future promises Sweetypie to Gremlin from the Abyss of Doom in under 3 seconds. So if you come to visit and im in the fetal position cowering in a corner don’t ask questions. Just ignore me Ill be ok.

On a serious note however we had the first ultra sound and the fear that the baby could be in her tube is gone. Baby is smack in the middle where it should be and everything is a green light. Doctor also gave her a “confimation of pregnancy” which I laughed at. Trust me……. I know. Boob withdrawl here!! Yes…she is indeed Pregnant!!

Needless to say…… I did the driving.

By Lee Marshall