How to Become the Leader and Take Control During Your Break-Up

Break ups are a terrible event that no-one should have to suffer through alone. When you’ve been so close to someone for so long, it can feel like you’ve been ripped in two when your other half isn’t around anymore. I always stress in my articles that having close friends around you makes living through a break up SO much easier, but whether you have close friends or not, the break-up itself always feels like a private psychological battle between yourself and your ex. This article will arm you with some solid tactics and techniques that will help you retain leadership in this tragic ’2 player’ battle.

As the leader, YOU retain control over whether the relationship continues or not, and that’s why is absolutely vital that you can learn and use these leadership techniques. Winning back your ex is a lot easier if you’re the leader.

To become the natural leader, you need three things. You need the moral high ground, control over communication and total information. If one of these key points is missing, you may quickly find your ex can use it to take back the reigns and start calling the shots.

1. The Moral High Ground. Morality is a greying area in today’s society, but when it comes to the breaking up of a relationship – it’s usually very clear who has the moral high ground. Once you have morality on your side, you should be able to minimise your feelings and guilt, and have control over your ex’s. For when you simply want to know that you have control over the situation is a relief to many people during a break-up.

2. Control Over Communication. Communication is often a big issue during relationship troubles and break-ups. Ever refused to respond to a text, or ‘give it a day’ before replying? This is an example of the type of breaks in communication which send stress levels during a break-up through the roof. The position of leadership you want to be in will be where you decide whether you want to speak to your ex or not, and not the other way round. To ensure this – have their house phone as well as their mobile phone, and don’t be afraid of using mutual friends to ‘bridge’ the gap when it comes to making contact. SOME careful communication will be better than none at all, because when people start having blackouts of communication, the imagination runs wild and paranoia exacerbates an already horrible situation.

3. Total Information. You may have arguments in the days of your break-up, and for these especially; you need to have all the facts to be able to exert leadership over the situation. There’s nothing worse than being presented with a new piece of information mid-argument that completely and utterly renders you speechless. This situation completely robs you of you leadership, and it doesn’t take an expert to point out that this won’t help your chances of getting what you want out of the break-up. Try and collect all the information you can surrounding your break-up. Often people just ONLY want to hear stories that support them, and so only discuss their break up with friends who they know will agree. To get the full picture, try and talk it out with one of your Exs mates, and you’ll get a much better idea of what the problem looks like from the other side of the fence.

Ensure you have the moral high ground, control over the flow of information and total information, and you’ll be able to win your Ex back, or make sure they never speak to you again. Your choice!

Protect your Dating Relationship

The best way to protect the dating relationships you have is to keep the fire of love burning and going strong. You really don’t want to jeopardize anything and what you want is to keep the relationship strong. It must have been a new relationship or just a dating arrangement that you want to keep a bit longer.

The natural tendency have people slackening off a little bit and then settle in, but the best way you can try is to make sure you have nurtured your dating relationships superbly, in a way that you and the one in your dating sphere can easily reap all the benefits that come with having a strong relationship or union.

It’s important for you to have unique friends and lives once you have been in any relationship, in that you will find active time that you can easily spend together. Life has made us very busy beings, in that we can easily have life leading us towards distinct directions, and it is up to all the partners in dating relationships to make sure that the one they are in a relationship with will always be their own best friend.

That time which the two of you are able to spend do not in any way have to be elaborate or any complicated, what will happen is that you create around two or more hours to just be yourself as you focus on the love you have had and as you enjoy each others presence. You must share some interests and it comes up as a splendid way of accomplishing them. Incase it is not, then, you have to think and plan acutely on any issue in your dating relationships.

Always make the relationship you are having a top notch priority. Ask yourself whether when some of your friends have asked you to join them you consult your dating partner initially. Also, even when you have decided the two of you that you truly require some quality important time together you continue running errands as you think that you can easily recompense the partner and the time. Incase you are positive about this things, you must realize first that, break ups are made of this, and you should make your dating relationships a priority. 

Give your partner all the attention as you put him or her first before anything else, and it does not mean that you have given up on your life. What it does is that you are made to actively start thinking about the needs of your partner as well as the significant needs that your relationship has, as you carry all your actions in accordance to their tenets of perfection. Dating relationships have it that once you have scheduled time which you plan to meet with your lover, follow it to the bitter end. Every time you are with the one in your life, make a point of listening with intent as you grasp what they are saying.