Are You Still in Love With Your Ex and Desperately Want Them Back?

I do believe the saying goes, “Love makes the world go ’round.” When you have it, you spread it around, when you don’t have it, you tend to despair. Maybe you’ve had it before and lost it, now you want it back. Whatever the case, there was something drawing you to the name of this article.

Love is a mysterious concept that poets and artists throughout the ages have tried to express from their unique perspectives. According to Abraham Maslow, love is the third of 5 basic needs necessary for human beings. Unfortunately, we can’t choose one day to fall in love and point our finger at a likely candidate and say, “It will be him/her.” It would be grand if that were possible. But the fact is, we can’t decide who we will fall in love with and it could literally be with anyone. There are many things that can attract you to a person, their smell, voice, intellect, facial symmetry- most things are factors you don’t even realize affecting your choices, locked deep within your subconscious mind.

Even worse than not being able to control who we fall in love with, is not being able to control who we fall out of love with either. It doesn’t matter if you were ever together at all, or were together for 20 years, this does not appear to be a deciding factor for heartache.

Maybe you were in a relationship, maybe it was rocky, maybe it was bliss. For some reason it ended, however long ago, and you find yourself pining for the other person. Your ex. You search the internet for pictures of them, take the long was to drive past their house, not to spy, but to be CLOSE to them. You play songs over and over that remind you of them, because it makes you feel more alive, more in control. Everything in your heart screams for them, you wish for them on every star, every eyelash, hoping to win them back. But you do nothing.

You hope within your heart that they will come to their senses and the phone will ring, or the doorbell, or you will see them out and you will both be alone and you will just “know.” You send telepathic messages to them, you dream of them, they are so much a part of your life without ever even interacting. You have lost a big part of yourself.

If you feel this way, there is a good chance that they feel it, too. Even if they say they don’t. You don’t have to believe in fate to get your ex back. You just have to know what to say and what to do. Because obviously, what you’ve already been doing isn’t working. It’s time for action.

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3 Tips on How Not To Panic After a Breakup

When you suffer a terrible breakup, it’s normal to feel anxiety about your future. After all, your significant other broke up with you so that kind of messes up how you see your future. However, if you want your ex to come back to you, then you have to stay levelheaded and muddle through the disaster. To help you out, here are some things you need to know.

(1)  Stay in Control

It’s not hard to lose control in a breakup situation but it’s not okay to let it run every part of your being. If you do, it’s likely that you’ll be alone for longer than you should be. Yes, take time to feel the pain of your loss but don’t let it ruin a second chance with your ex or let you move on to find someone more worth of your time.

(2) Avoid Panicking

When you panic, you do nothing to help your cause. In fact, it can cause some serious, irreparable damage to getting your ex back such as drunken dialing and text message terrorism. It’s essential that you stay calm and work through those hurt feelings that you have. When you do, you’ll thank yourself for it.

(3) Healthy Distractions

Find outlets that are healthy to turn to. Make sure the distractions keep you calm and can have multiple benefits. For instance, they keep you from turning to negative sources of distractions as well as boosting your morale that can help you to win back your ex.

Once you move past the initial breakup, you’ll begin to feel better. Stay in control of your own feelings and emotions. It’s best that your ex doesn’t know that he or she has power over you in that way either. Make sure to empower your life by thinking clearly especially if your goal is to get your ex back.

 

Steps On How You And Your Ex Can Get Back Together

 

You got to do a little bit of soul searching if you are really interested with getting back with your ex together. Make sure that you are totally honest with yourself.  Make a decision if you think that getting back together with your ex can truly make you happy, and would not end up the same path that caused the break up in the past. It is always easy after a breakup to just think about the good times. It is very important that you will try to be entirely real and think of both the ups and downs.

In reality, there are a small number of relationships that are unworthy to be saved. If you and your ex spent more time fighting rather than you did doing something lovely and fun, then possibly you should consider on moving on. It is in all probability an unhealthy relationship, if they were either physically or verbally offensive. You are probably better off without them if they were mentally unsteady. They are not abusive if and only if the summation of your relationship was a good one, and they were of normal state of mind, the following must help both you and your ex get back as one.

Pestering and pushing your ex isn’t a good idea.  If you try to constantly get in touch with your ex; whether its by phone, email, text message, or stalking them you’re going to do more harm than good.  They will see this as a sign of desperation.  This could actually push them further away than bring them closer to you.

Don’t argue, beg, or plead with your ex about your past relationship. It’s easy when you and your mind are all alone.  Your mind manifests all sorts of wrongs that you may have done.  Even when your ex broke up with you they may have gave you reasons why.  Now, you’re probably beating yourself up over them.  You probably wish you had never done those things.  The past is the past.  This is the present.

Every time it goes across your mind that your relationship is over at this point in time.  Though you probably wish you could turn back the time, you just really can not.  Keep your mind on what is supposed to happen right now.  Imploring or pleading with your ex is the worst thing you could have done rather than compulsively contacting them. Promise your ex that you will change, and so on. This would not help you to get back together with your ex in any ways.

Give them some room and back off a little bit and give yourself a time of your life.  And for that, you are giving yourself a great favor by any means.  You will doubtlessly more eye-catching to your ex when will permit them to think and miss you.  Go live a happier and more gratifying life too.

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Relationships – How to Always Win an Argument in a Relationship

That’s impossible you say. Actually, it’s not so impossible. Winning an argument with your partner is all about compromise. Truly winning is not about who gets the last word or comes out the victor; it’s about being mature enough to make sure you both are victorious.

How can two people win an argument? That’s impossible. Not really. In noted relationship author, Gary Smalley’s study guide to his DNA of Relationships best seller, he writes:

Winning is finding a solution both people feel good about…in healthy relationships, everyone wins. If we see relationships as teamwork, we can commit ourselves to working on cooperative strategies. (Pg. 21, The DNA of Relationships Version 1 – Study Guide)

I read Dr. Smalley’s entire book about the DNA of relationships and it taught me that becoming a mature adult only happens when I learn to take responsibility for my actions and do not blame others for how I feel. For example, I am not truly emotionally mature, if I consistently blame my partner for my own unhappiness. No one has the power to make me happy or unhappy. My feelings are in my own control and I allow people to have power over me if I am not taking responsibility for my own healthy attitudes.

One of Dr. Smalley’s steps towards resolving conflicts is to “Establish a no-losers policy.” That is exactly the point I was trying to stress previously. All parties involved in conflict should come out the winner because we are trying to find a compromise to our conflicts of interest. For example, if your partner refuses to spend quality time with your family and friends, but expects you to spend time with his family and friends, do not give in to an argument that you cannot win through a screaming match. Believe me…been there, done that. It doesn’t work. Try to listen and come up with a compromise.

Conflict in relationships is very good, so long as it’s not happening more than the good times occur. When we’re involved in a serious relationship, we obviously tend to spend a great deal of time with our partner. When conflicts arise, and they will, we need to learn healthy conflict resolution techniques. If you need to take a class or read a book on the subject or just discuss this topic with friends, do whatever it takes, but learn the strategy. Your relationship with your significant other will benefit immensely.

Conflict resolution teaches you to become a listener and not just someone who spouts off whatever he or she is thinking without giving the other person involved a chance to get a word in edgewise. When you really listen to your partner, you may actually hear some good sense and realize that your ways are not always the right ways. So many times we are too busy trying to get our agenda accomplished that we need some good conflicts to shake us up and hopefully, lead us into paths toward healthy reconciliation. Try to come up with some sort of compromise that you both can live with so in the end, no one is the loser. True communication and compromise is what cements a relationship together and enables it to weather great storms, which are sure to come.

Animal Magnetism – What Animals Can Tell You About Your Ideal Mate

Imagine that you are asleep one night and begin to have a dream. In this dream you are visited by two of the animals listed below. One of these animals brings you good news that predicts a future life of happiness and prosperity, while the other animal brings you news that forecasts a future of poverty and misery.

Dog
Lion
Monkey
Cat
Snake

Which of the animals listed above brings you the message of happiness and prosperity?

Which of the other animals listed brings you the message of poverty and misery?

Which of these messages do you open first?

Please take a moment and answer all three of these questions before proceeding. . .

Since ancient times, animals have often been seen as messengers of the gods. In many traditional shamanic cultures, animals were sent to an individual in dreams or visions to deliver messages of encouragement or warning. Even today, many people see these animals as symbolic messengers of our subconscious mind. Regardless of how we receive these messages, we are often wise to heed their advice and warnings.

These animals and their unique symbolism is a subject that I discuss throughout my Mind Doodles course. As a result of our cultural conditioning and individual preferences, each of the animals listed above (as well as many more not found here) have been found to have direct psychological associations. This means that we automatically associate certain animals with certain personality traits. In other words, we all tend to see snakes as sneaky, monkeys as playful, dogs as loyal, etc…

In this particular exercise, you were asked to pick one animal from the list that brought you promises of “good news”, and one animal that brought you “bad news”. You were then asked to describe which animal brought you which message, and which of these two messages you opened first.

The message you chose to open first is said to represent your current outlook on romantic relationships. This means is that if you opened up the message predicting a life full of happiness and prosperity first, you have probably had better luck than most lately when it comes to dating and relationships. On the other hand, if you chose to open up the message predicting a future life of poverty and misery first, then you have probably been discouraged or disappointed recently when it comes to intimate relationships.

The animal that you have chosen from the above list to deliver the “good news” is said to represent the qualities of your ideal mate. In other words, the qualities that we typically associate with that particular animal is what you are (or should be) looking for in a potential mate.

On the other hand, the animal that you have subconsciously chosen to deliver the “bad news” is said to represent the type of person who would make your life completely miserable should you choose to have a long-term relationship with this person.

Now let’s take a closer look at these five different animals and see what kind of insight they might be able to give us:

Dog

Above all, the dog is known for its extreme loyalty and unconditional love. If you have chosen the dog to deliver your message of happiness and prosperity, you have probably been burned by a past infidelity or a complete lack of honesty in a previous relationship. You are tired of “playing the game” and you simply want someone whom you can trust and count on to be there for you when you need them most.

If you have chosen the dog as your messenger of poverty and misery, then you probably are looking for someone with a strong, independent personality who doesn’t need you to constantly praise or shower them with affection. You are looking for someone who is strong enough to stand on their own two feet and someone who does not rely solely upon you for their sense of identity and happiness.

Lion

The lion is a symbol of power and ambition. If you have chosen the lion as your messenger of happiness and prosperity, you are probably looking for a partner who is highly confident and sure of their abilities. You tend to be a competitive person by nature and you require someone with a great deal of ambition and drive in order to keep up with you. You need to find someone who isn’t afraid to put themselves out there and risk failure in order to get what they want.

If you have chosen the lion as your messenger of poverty and misery, than you realize that a true relationship is much larger than the individuals involved. You have dated far too many aggressive self-obsessed “lions” in the past and are tired of one-sided relationships where one person is forced to carry the load. You are looking for someone who is willing to share their life and all of its little decisions equally.

Monkey

The symbolic image of the monkey is known for its playfulness and fun loving nature. If you have chosen the monkey to deliver your message of happiness and prosperity, you are probably searching for someone who doesn’t take themselves or life too seriously. Someone who isn’t afraid to act spontaneously and make a “fool” out of themselves once in awhile in order to have a good time. You need someone who is willing to face life head-on instead of sitting around thinking about everything that could possibly go wrong. You hate to get bogged down by all the petty details and would much rather let life surprise you as it comes.

If you have chosen the monkey as your messenger of poverty and misery, then you are probably looking for someone who has gotten their act together and is no longer interested in playing childish mind games. You are looking for someone who is willing to get serious and be a true partner in your life. You do not like surprises or playing games where you don’t know all the rules. You value consistency and are happiest when a relationship has developed comfortable roles and routine where you know exactly what to expect from your partner.

Cat

The cat is well known for its independence and strong sense of self-reliance. If you have chosen the cat to deliver your message of happiness and prosperity, you are probably searching for someone who has already established their own identity and does not need you to define what they stand for. You need someone who doesn’t require constant attention and “hand-holding” in order to feel loved. You don’t like to be micro-managed by others and would rather see the big picture rather than get bogged down with all of the meaningless details.

If you have chosen the cat as your messenger of poverty and misery, then you are probably looking for someone who is willing to share themselves and their true feelings with you. You have had your fill of cold and emotionally unavailable people in your life. You despise having to constantly guess what’s on their mind. More than anything, however, you are looking for a companion who will provide you with a comforting shoulder to cry on and a warm open heart to share your life with.

Snake

The snake is a well-known religious symbol of deceit in the biblical Garden of Eden, however, it is also an ancient symbol of wisdom and change that is still revered in many cultures. If you have chosen the snake to deliver your message of happiness and prosperity, you are probably looking to expand your horizons both mentally and emotionally. You understand now that the way you have been thinking about yourself and your relationships hasn’t been working. More than anything, you are looking for someone who is completely different from those you have been in relationships with in the past. Just as a snake sheds its old skin as it grows, it appears that you may finally be ready to take the next step in your growth process and find true love.

If you have chosen the snake as your messenger of poverty and misery, than you probably see the snake as a symbol of deceit and false promises. You have been fooled too many times by ignoring the warning signs in the past or have been tricked by those who have simply told you what you wanted to hear. You are looking for someone who is straightforward and honest above all. Actions speak louder than words for you and the right person will have to be willing and able to prove themselves before you let your emotional guard down again.

After completing this exercise, please feel free share it with someone else you think might appreciate its simple yet powerful insight into the subconscious mind. I wish you all the best.

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